learning / knowing

Any person, trained or uneducated, can become dangerous with just a little bit of knowledge and an unteachable spirit. 

Lies about Small Groups #3

Lie #3: People Learn Better through Conversation.

I studied Educational Psychology in college, so I understand diversified learning styles. Some people may indeed process new thoughts and learn better through talking it out with others.

This, however, is not what happens in small groups. The “conversation” that happens in small groups is not the same that happens between, say, law school students discussing in a group of 5-10 how a certain law applies to a certain case. Why, you ask? Because that scenario isn’t innately personal. Neither are any other academic fields. In small groups, conversation is not so much about learning styles as it is about helping people feel like valuable contributers to the group. And why do we want them to feel valuable? So that they “belong” and will want to come back, not because they learn best that way.

Would a young married couple approach me about a small group with other young married couples do so because they learn best with other young married couples? For that matter, do young adults (some..) want Sunday School with other young adults because they learn better with them as opposed to someone older or  younger? No. Absolutely, 100%, no. Because this is not about “learning.” The conversation isn’t about “learning.”

How could it be? There are generally, if ever, any Bible scholars or theologians involved. I fully believe in the priesthood of all believers, but I don’t think that means everyone’s a Bible expert. And that’s really getting off track, because offering insight as such would technically be “teaching” and we’re talking about conversational, relational small groups–not classes or lectures. In fact, some of the “intellectual” side of the conversation can often make me look away and linger with that awkward “I don’t want to look up” face because, depending on the topic/Bible passages, I can predict down to the T where the conversation is going to go. Because it’s the same places those conversations have been going for years. People make the same cliche arguments, the same cliche counterarguments, and no one is really better for the conversation–but we leave feeling better about having what we already believed confirmed.

People don’t learn better through conversation (in small groups), but they can connect better through good conversation. What ultimately worries me is that we try to force the two into one–we say the conversation is about learning (because we’re talking about the Bible, duh..), but it’s really about trying to make everyone feel a “part” of the group.

How can we let people connect in a way that’s natural and normal? I believe that can happen over the Scriptures, I just don’t know that a setting of 8-12 quasi-friends/strangers can make that happen.
When you call a spade a spade, you can avoid years of frustrating experiences and unrealistic expectations.

Petey’s note: I’m not writing about a certain experience or necessarily a recent experience, but what I’ve observed and learned throughout my time in different churches as a lay leader and paid church staff.